Awkward

You know those awkward few minutes that pass when you see someone that you haven't seen in a long time?  When you've gotten past the how've-you-beens and the your-kids-have-gotten-so-bigs, there often follows an uncomfortable (though usually short) period of time in which you and your long-ago friend get acclimatized to one another again. 

I hate that adjustment period.  Remembering how seamlessly conversation came once upon a time and comparing that to the halting, unsure exchanges of the present can be painful. Therefore, I have made an executive decision:

Here at Ruggamuffin, there will be no awkward adjustment periods allowed.

Let's all pretend that my blogging has been as constant as my laundry.  In order to avoid the reality that I have no idea where my camera actually is, we'll imagine that my camera has been busy capturing and downloading the memories of the last few months.  We will carefully avoid acknowledging that all of the time that I spend online these days is being allotted to that other site (you know, the one that starts with a "P" and ends with an "interest").

Instead of focusing on those things that might highlight our recent separation, let me tell you about a moment of enlightenment I experienced yesterday.

I had an appointment in the morning to get my haircut, nothing serious just a little refresher.  I hurried my morning routine along but didn't skip any of the familiar steps .  Ladies, you know how it is, you cannot go to get your hair cut looking like a shmuck.  Even though you know that any time you spend doing your hair is time wasted, you do it anyway.  So, off I went to my hair appointment with my makeup placed with precision and my hair carefully coiffed. Since I was paying the skilled Suzanne a visit anyway, I decided to have her shape my eyebrows while I was at it.

Skillful Suzanne got straight to work on my curly hair.  She is a master, she uses techniques specific to curly hair.  Suzanne finished her magic on my hair then started on my eyebrows.

As she carefully wiped the makeup from my eyelids I blinked at the exact wrong moment.  Just as my eye opened, a warm drop of cleanser slid into my left eye, burning as I spastically tried to blink it out again.  (Did I mention this was my first experience with waxing?)  Suzanne carefully pulled the skin above my eye taut.  With a quick yank, the burning in my eye was eclipsed by the searing heat where my rouge eyebrow hairs had just been exiled. 

I drove home after my beautifying was complete and caught a glimpse of myself in my rear veiw mirror.  The reflection of my bloodshot left eye involuntarily squinted back at me, tears still leaked from the corner of my eye smearing black mascara onto my cheek bone, my wet hair was drying in uneven patches and the tender pink skin under both my eyebrows was swollen.  I chuckled to myself remembering the time that I spent earlier scrunching my curls purposefully, applying eyeshadow with precision and carefully coaxing as much length and volume as possible out of my mascara wand and onto my eyelashes. 

Perhaps the great artist Renoir was actually speaking of the lengths that women will go to for beauty when he said, “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”(for six to eight weeks, then we'll start the "Beauty/ Pain Cycle" again)

Grossed Out

I'm cringing today.  Here's why:

1-  My Husband's Lunch- a stir fry that included quinoa, zucchini and chicken hearts.  After he saw how grossed out I was, he pointed out the little valves and tubes on the hearts.  I nearly lost my pancakes.

2- Crickets- they disgust me but we deal with them daily for the sake of our leopard gecko.  Somehow they have found a way to escape from their cage.  I have discovered the little creepers all over the house including in the bathroom and kitchen sinks.  Blech.

Wave at the Bus

Maybe you've seen this floating around the internet but when I saw it I had to share. 

This American Fork dad has made it a point to wave to his son's school bus every morning of the school year, and evey morning he has worn a different costume. 

Here's a quick look at his costumes.

For a closer look, check out

http://waveatthebus.blogspot.com/ 

Some Things Never Change...

... but most things do.

At my parents' house recently I came across a My Little Pony that I had when I was a little girl.  I picked it up and slowly turned it over in my hands.  I remembered making that toy horse gallop across my bedroom floor, lying on my stomach I played for hours.

I crossed my parents' living room and picked up my bag.  After rummaging for a minute I found what I was looking for- one of Aubrey's My Little Ponies.  I looked at these two toys separated by a generation and was surprised to see how little they had in common.

Take a look at Exhibits A and B.

Exhibit A: My Little Pony 1980-something

Exhibit B: My Little Pony 2011

I noticed that nearly everything on the newer ponies has gotten bigger.  The hair is much longer, the eyes are huge (which is saying a lot since the original eyes were pretty big anyway), the feet are bigger and, most of all, the head on the newer pony is gargantuan. 

Although most of the newer ponies' features have gotten bigger there are a few noticeable exceptions.  For example, the new ponies have a smaller "muzzle" area, giving them a bit of a duck-like appearance.  Most obviously though, is that the modern toys have a lot smaller bodies (which is accentuated by their mammoth heads).  If you notice the purple pony above ("Star Song") she looks like she can barely support the weight of her noggin' with her tiny body.  It's a good thing she has her Clydesdale sized feet to keep her grounded.

Before finding my pony from my childhood (which isn't exactly realistic), I thought that Aubrey's ponies looked like the horses they are supposed the represent.  After closer examination, I'm not sure what they look like.  Certainly not any horse I've seen.

---

As a side note, taking the pictures of these ponies had me laughing out loud.  This has to be the most ridiculous group of pictures I have ever taken.  The one below is my favorite.  I can't help chuckling when I look at "Pinkie Pie" batting her absurdly large eyes from behind her flowing mane.

Now it's your turn, what has changed since you were a kid?

Gimme a Break

I have an affliction.  I have known for some time about this particular affliction of mine but I am still struggling to keep it under control.  It all started when I was in Mrs. Pratt's tenth grade English class.

Standing in front of the chalkboard, our bespectacled teacher instructed us on the proper usage of commas. 

"A comma marks a natural break in a sentence," she explained. "Use a comma where you would take a breath when talking."

Her instructions made sense to me and gave me confidence in using commas.  I made peace with those tiny, backward "C's."  Where once I was unsure and reluctant I became bold and would use them without restraint. "When in doubt, use a comma," became my mantra while writing.

But somewhere along the line my certainty in wielding the comma began to waiver.  "Would I really breathe there?"  "Is that a natural break in that sentence?"  "Does this comma make it sound like I am breathing or panting?"  Time after time, comma placement has lead to a litany of questions until, here I sit, mistrusting every comma that I write.  The barrage of comma questions that I have repeatedly heaped upon myself have led to my current condition- CPD (Comma Placement Disorder).

The Internet is a place where people can come to find support and strength.  Maybe, my coming forward and giving a voice to this condition will help others do the same.  If you, or somebody you love, suffer from CPD please, know that you are not alone.

Together we can conquer the comma!

I'm Not Proud to Admit

...that yesterday, at this time, this bag was full.

Now, aside from the tantalizing smell of chocolate and peanut butter, it's completely empty.

I'm happy today because...

1- I found the source of the mysterious stench in our basement and eradicated it.  (Hooray!)

2- Our taxes are done!  (Hip hip hooray!)

A Serious Condition

I recently took a health questionnaire over the phone for our insurance company.  Here's a snippet of the conversation:

Survey Conductor- Have you been hospitalized in the last five years?
Me- Well, I had a baby.  Does that count?

SC- Yes.
Me- Oh, okay.  Then, yes, I have been hospitalized in the last five years.

SC- What symptoms were you experiencing that prompted you to visit the doctor?
Me- Ummm...  I thought I might be pregnant.

SC- What was the diagnosis? 
Me-  (pause...)  That I was going to have a baby.

SC- What is the name of the physician who treated you for this condition?
Me- (starting to think this was getting ridiculous I gave my doctor's information)

SC- What treatments were recommended for this condition?
Me- (snickering a little) To have the baby.

SC- What was the date that you were last treated for this condition?
Me-  (seriously?)  On my daughter's birthday.

SC- Have there been any follow up treatments that you have not completed with regards to this condition?
Me- Uh.  No.

Remembering Summer

I'm needing some color today.  I need something to contrast the monotone gray that I am seeing outside and feeling inside.  There are days, for all of us I think, that we need a distraction that is bright and beautiful and then we can move forward with a bit more sunshine in our own hearts.  Today is one of those days for me.
 

Maybe some summer color will help to cheer you up too!

A Baker's Dozen

Thirteen Things That Have Me Smiling Today

- sleeping in on a Saturday morning
- hearing Ethan stand up for Conner
- hats on a bad hair day
- this post on my sister-in-law's blog
- free passes to Discovery Gateway (thanks Nicole!)
- Kohl's return policy
- Kedar whistling through his nose and saying, "Put that on the blog!"
- playing Super Mario Brothers with the kids
- even being asked to play Super Mario Brothers with the kids
- Walmart's fresh, warm tortillas
- randomly seeing a friend at Walmart
- delivering a picture Aubrey drew to a friend who isn't feeling well
- watching the man I love being a great dad to our kids

What's making you happy?

Family Fun

We are in the middle of some trying economic times, finding inexpensive recreation for a family can be challenging.  I thought I'd share some cheap entertainment that I came across recently.  Here's what you do... 

First-  Find a picture that makes you smile.  It really doesn't matter what kind of picture it is, the important part is your initial response to the picture.  When you see it the first time, if your face cracks into an unexpected grin, you have yourself a winner. 

Take this picture for example: I thought it was hilarious.  That makes it a good candidate for this activity.

Second- Show your chosen picture to your kids. 

Third- Listen carefully as your children describe what they see.  

Here's what my kids had to say about huge guy:

     Aubrey- "Mom, why are his arms so squiggly?"

     Ethan- "Hey Dad!  I guess you're not the strongest man in the world after all!"

     Conner- "His arms are like big chunks of meat."

And my favorite:

     Ethan- "His arms look like pigs!"

 Family fun on the cheap! 

Here are some other pictures with potential:

A Girl Can Dream

I'm not a "car girl."  I mean, I drive a Dodge Caravan for goodness sakes.  But this is not a story about a car, this is a story about love at first sight.  I think it was 1994 when I first gave my heart away.

I was at my friend Jenn's house when we heard the loud purring of an engine driving up the road.  We looked in the direction of the sound, we couldn't help it, it couldn't be ignored.  When we saw the car that was producing the captivating noise, both of our faces split into a wide grin.  It was a brand-spankin' new Mustang.  Bright yellow wouldn't be a worthy description of its color, no, it was much more than "yellow"- the brilliance of the sun was captured in that shiny paint.  I took in every bend and memorized each chrome accent.

I think I nearly fainted when the car pulled to a smooth stop in front of Jennifer's house; it was a friend of her dad's who stopped by in his new 'stang.  He took us for a ride, Jenn and I sat in the backseat while her dad and his friend rode up front.  As we pulled out of the neighborhood and the car accelerated my racing heart kept pace with the RPMs of the engine.  We drove faster and faster down a straight stretch of road, but before I was ready we were headed back the way we had come.

We weren't gone very long, 5 or 10 minutes I'd guess, but it didn't matter because from that moment on I would never look at another car the way that I look at the Ford Mustang.  

           

(sigh)

Self-Discovery

There are some things a person can only learn by turning inward.  By asking yourself (or myself) the important questions (What makes me tick?  What do I believe?  What are my strengths and what are my weaknesses?) and then thoughtfully and honestly answering them, a person can make new discoveries about themselves.  The answers to these questions can give a person insight into who they really are.  

Having said that, I recently learned that a person can also learn new things about themselves by looking on the outside too.  Naturally, the things you will learn won't be nearly as deep, however, you may still find yourself surprised. For example, there are some things that I never would have discovered about myself had I not taken a few minutes out of my very structured schedule to take this telling self portrait. 

This is what I have learned during this process of self-discovery:

-My lips are much bigger (and pinker) than I realized when I make a kissy face. 

-The edges of my lips get kind of "ruffly" when they are puckered. Exactly eleven ruffles.

I feel like I know myself a little bit better now.

Strange Things are Happenin'

It was in the produce department of our local WalMart when I first noticed him. He was walking down the aisle toward me. His clothes were far too big for his skinny frame and were smeared with dirt and oil. His long, black hair was in a scraggly ponytail. Bits of forgotten food clung stubbornly to his unkempt facial hair. I noticed him but I looked away.

A few minutes later, I was at the checkout and I saw the same man walk past. He was ahead of me, walking past the bathrooms at the front of the store. Again, I noticed him but I tried not to. I didn't want to be rude. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. I looked away.

I made it to my car and unloaded the groceries. I turned to walk the cart to the cart return and there he was again. He was parked on the same row that I was but on the opposite side. He was standing at the driver's side of his car with the door open. The way he was standing seemed...odd, out of place somehow. He was facing the car with his back to me but his feet were set wide apart and his hands were clasped in front of him.

He looked backward over his shoulder at me. The look that he gave me was out of place too. Like he was annoyed that I was there walking in that parking lot. "Get out of my parking lot," he was saying with his eyes. By this time, I had put the cart away and was headed back toward my car. I was hurrying now, I wanted to get away from his unrelenting stare. I heard a faint splashing noise.

That's when I recognised what his posture meant, and added that to the steady trickling I was hearing. That's when I realized why he was looking at me like I was intruding somewhere that I wasn't wanted. And that's when it dawned on me that he was urinating there in the WalMart parking lot, that the bathroom in the store he had walked past 5 minutes earlier hadn't been convenient enough. And once again, I looked away.

My Travelin' Buddy

Something that you may not know about me is that I get cold sores when I travel. It's weird and uncomfortable but it's true.

Several years ago we went to Hawaii. The preparation for this trip was really stressful. Conner was about 6 months old, and being first-time parents, we were hyper-alert to every possible problem or situation that may present itself. When we left for the airport we had: his car seat, his pack 'n' play, his stroller, if we could have figured out a way to bring his high chair we would have. Everything that we could pack we decided to bring. By the time we landed in Hawaii I had a cold sore the size of Maine on my lip.

A few years later, we went to California. This time we were traveling with two small children, so, even though we didn't try to pack the entire house, we still had a lot of stuff. Kedar was determined that we could manage all of it. If we each carried three bags and one child we would be fine. Who needs one of those $2 carts? Those things are for wimps! We were getting our luggage at the baggage claim in the John Wayne Airport and I could feel a huge cold sore on my top lip. "What!?" I thought, "Not again!"

So, this has become the pattern: travel - stress - cold sore.

Kedar and I are flying out today to enjoy some fun in the sun and my bottom lip is already tingling. But in all the years that this strange condition has plagued me, it has never kept me from having a great time while traveling. There is always enough fun to go around. While my cold sore is partying there on my lip, I can enjoy being with Kedar in the mild California climate. I am sure my cold sore and I will both have a great vacation!

Some Assembly Required

Aubrey had her 3rd birthday on Friday. We decided to get her own little kitchen; she loves helping me in the kitchen. I found a really cute one at Target. I bought it and brought the box home. On the box were the words "Some Assembly Required." "No big deal," I thought, "I rock at "some assembling"!" I opened the box and this is what I found....Yikes! Close to 40 pieces!

It took waaaay longer than I thought that it would to get it all put together, but I finally finished it and it was as cute as can be! Best of all Aubrey loves it!