In the Beginning (part one)

This week Kedar and I are anticipating our anniversary. Twelve years!

I'm feeling nostalgic. Thinking about our courtship gets me feeling all melty and gooey inside. We reveled in spending time together. Getting to know each other and falling in love was blissful. Of course, it wasn't perfect and things got off to a bit of a rough start for us.

Dating was tricky for me when Kedar and I first met. You see, I had a boyfriend who was half a world away serving a two year LDS Mission and I was confused. Just a year previous "the plan" was that I would marry this missionary but I was changing, I was growing and I was losing confidence in "the plan." When the plan you've counted on starts to crumble the future looks full of both fear and possibility and I was firmly planted between the two: not quite ready to let go of the familiar while anxiously standing on the brink of the unknown.

I was home working for my dad for the summer. Spring semester had just concluded and I had recently used "my missionary" as an escape route out of a budding relationship that was quickly becoming stifling. I didn't want the pressure that came with considering the future. "She's afraid of commitment," friends would say behind their hands. I didn't care. I just wanted to have fun with no strings attached. Such was my situation when Kedar found me.

We first met at a friend's house. As the evening came to a close he walked with me out to my car. We talked and laughed and before we said goodbye he asked me for my phone number. The next day he called me and asked me out for our first date.

When Kedar asked me out he was funny and casual: I felt safe. He invited me to dinner at a place that was well known but that I'd never been to. Afterward, we would go rollerblading at a nearby park.

My life marched on for a week. In that time, my search for new beginnings and independence lead me to a pair of sharp scissors. I was left holding 10 inches of my hair tightly tied in a rubber band and wearing a shocked expression on my face.

The day of our date arrived. I went to work that morning wearing holey jeans and a polo shirt with Pro Electric embroidered on the pocket. All day I delivered electrical parts to the electricians employed by my dad's contracting company. I lifted heavy boxes, heaved rolls of spooled wire and rummaged through greasy metal fittings. In between loading and unloading supplies, I sat hot and sweaty in my delivery van, busily making my way from one end of the valley to the other. My last delivery took longer than anticipated and I left for home running late already. Not good.

I briskly walked through the front door thinking I could quickly change and be on my way. But when I caught a glimpse of my disheveled self in the mirror and a whiff of my own pungent aroma as I ran down the hallway, it became apparent that a quick change wasn't going to cut it. I hopped in the shower scrubbed and rinsed as quickly as I could. I dressed with lightening speed but came to a screeching halt in front of the mirror. I stared in dismay as my newly cut hair dripped languidly. Since cutting it a few days earlier, I had no idea what to do with it.

I grabbed the blow dryer and frantically tried to straighten my unruly curls. As I raked the round brush through my hair I glanced at the clock. I was supposed to meet Kedar in 20 minutes. The drive to our meeting spot would take 30 minutes...if I was fast. I finished my hair in record time and looked at my reflection again. Frustrated, I knew I had to abandon my goal of having straight hair for the night. After my best efforts the look I was left with was akin to that of a Chia Pet.

When I pulled out of my driveway I was near tears. It was impossible for me to be on time. It was also impossible, at this point, for me to be "fashionably late." (I might mention here that this was before every man, woman and child owned a cell phone.)

I sped along the freeway trying to make up for lost time. I had, what I thought, was a good idea of where I was going. I was overly confident in my ability to locate unfamiliar addresses, after all as a delivery driver that's what I did all day. As I got closer to my destination, I slowed down looking for my turn. It wasn't there. I circled the block but still couldn't find where I needed to be. Again and again, I went around the block hoping my street would magically appear. It didn't. I was lost and I was 30 minutes late.

My teary eyes were making driving difficult and I had to check the address that I'd written down. I pulled over and closed my eyes while leaning my forehead on the steering wheel. I took deep breaths as I tried to calm down. I looked at the address on the wrinkled scrap of paper that I clutched in my hand. I peered out the window at the street sign. I was one block from my destination.  If I had circled the block to the north of the one that I had been looping endlessly I would have found my turn right away. 

By the time I pulled back on the road, found the correct street and found a parking spot 15 more minutes had lapsed.  As I walked through the parking lot, I knew the chance that Kedar would still be waiting for me was pretty slim.  I felt terrible.  I couldn't imagine what he must think of a girl who would stand him up on a first date.

The meeting place that we planned to use was a sky walk. I entered the staircase that led to the over-the-street-walkway.  I didn't dare hope he might still be at the top. I looked up from the bottom step and there he was!  He was walking down the stairs on his way to his car when our paths' intersected.

My face burned with humiliation.  I couldn't think of a thing to say.  The look on his face spoke more than he dared say aloud; there was frustration, hurt and disbelief clearly written into his countenance.  For a moment we stood just looking at each other while my head spun and he composed his handsome features.  He took a deep breath and politely smiled at me.

I knew that now was the time to apologize, be witty or give him the list of excuses that I had been preparing but my mind was completely blank.  "Say something!  Just say something!" I thought frantically.

"Do you like my haircut?"  I blurted lamely.



to be continued...